Saturday, September 18, 2010

the man, the 'soaking yucky', and the bay

i managed to be here again... it's been quite some time.
i enjoy chick flicks again.
i smile more often.
i feel warmth.
my sunniness is back.
am happy. so happy!

THE MAN

it happened one rainy night. just came out of work, dressed to the nines... him? he was in a shirt, shorts, and trainers. sporting a knapsack, loving him with his 3 o'clock shadow and shaved head. it started with a smile, then a kiss. one thing led to another and then my heart string snapped, his knotted to mine. serendipity. yes. once again, the universe conspired. i am alone no longer. happiness filled me. we completed each other. we're a puzzle and we became whole.


last night we went on a date. we met at the mall which felt more of a sauna. damn. i was sweating like a pig and running late so i sprinted like crazy to the bookstore lo and behold he was there. thought he was pissed but instead he greeted me with a smile and hugged me tight. i was so surprised that he was comfortable with PDA, i thought that was the end of it. i was wrong. he held my hand all the way through and even kissed me on the cheek. hunger was at bay. he just finished his yoga session as for me considering the distance i covered, i could have eaten a cow head first. i was sooo famished but of course it can,t be obvious. poised as always. a principle shared by my mum: "be like a duck. all calm and composed at the surface, paddling furiously at the bottom." :D so here we are, choosing restos. we went to this nice pizza joint but damn, was it hottt!!! i thought it was a resto it's more like a damn oven! so out we go. we walked out, we traversed the dark road side looking for a nice place to eat. my tummy was grumbling...but heck with him holding my hand all throughout i didn't give much of a damn with my tummy. i'm in euphoria...


THE 'SOAKING YUCKY'

so here we are. after a dash. a long walk. famish is now ruling. i was sweating like a fucking roasting pig on a spit. he's beginning to panic. so in we went to the first resto we saw. tempura. i've been there several times in the past. decent food. acceptable ambiance. not bad.

the first thing we got was iced tea. he was so worried that i'd get dehydrated due to excessive sweating. well that was more than a kilometer walk so i obliged. the menu seemed interesting. we got dynamite balls which is according to the menu is "maki balls filled with crunchy salmon dipped in a special batter then fried to CRISP"... sounds promising. so we ordered. then for the main course: SUKIYAKI. it looked scrumptious in the picture so the waiter penned it down. ok. when we first got the appetizers, it did look promising. then i popped one in my mouth. i swear. if he weren't there i would've puked then and there. it was horrendous. then came the sukiyaki. it was served in a cast iron pot with a wooden cover. we are hoping for the best. lo and behold: TA-DA! @%$#&*#^@$$!!! expletives were running in my head. but then again i kept smiling for him. i cracked a joke: 'it's more of the yucky than suki' he laughed. damn. good thing i was seating. his laughter turned my knees into jelly. despite the "SOAKING YUCKY" for dinner we managed to have a good time. then the split type air-con started to drip like it wasn't anyone's business, it was as if someone was peeing in front of us and i started to rant. damn. that place is such a disaster!!! we asked for the bill which arrived after eons...i was so not in the mood. he saw my face and kissed me on the lips: "baby, nothing's perfect..." i just smiled. away we went. good thing there was starbucks and i was in such dire need for coffee. caffeine, oh caffeine drown this negative mood!!! so we had coffee, snuggled on the couch amidst the bar reviewers and two guys who kept checking us out. then an entire battalion of cantonese speaking folk together with their wild children ruined the serenity of the place. they simply popped our mood bubble and i was about to erupt when he said: "oh look at the moon..." then we went down and crossed the wide road...


THE BAY

he was so protective of me. i was so kilig. i felt like a highschool girl. hahaha

he held my hand as we crossed the boulevard and the guards were looking at us. we looked odd to them. HIM: skin head, 3 o'clock shadow, gym buff, at least 5'8". ME: semi-skinhead, sports a full facial hair (balbas sarado in short), stocky-bearish built, 5'7". so they were mystified with the level of intimacy that we share. to me? care nila. am happy. to hell with them. so just imagine, we walked the baywalk from end to end together with the milieu of people in almost all walks of life. i was just so surprised that i was really enjoying this. thank God i chose sensible shoes that night. when spontaneity hits me, damn, i'd be up for anything. we we're tad tired when we reached ccp but then and there he kissed me. hugged me tight...i was up in the clouds. hope this feeling never ends...we had our little night cap, then came the hardest part... the good byes.


then it hit me. there won't be fond hellos without sad goodbyes...so for now, let me collect all of those fond hellos. let me be in my own patch of heaven. let me be happy again...

the date could have been a disaster but never if you have the right man with you.
you can even have a soaking yucky for dinner but manage to laugh it off
and there will always be the sea. continuously watching. continuously witnessing love unfold by its bay...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

i likey very muchy!




simple, subtle, sublime... some of the words which i'd use especially for this gorgeous piece of art... the chocolate handles, the creamy laminated canvas, the distinctive bands of green and red... oh! what joy! what ecstasy! and of course i only experience this kind of happiness, my heart skips a beat whenever i hear this 5-letter italian name: GUCCI. it's like i had an immaculate orgasm when i saw this arm candy... i smiled from ear to ear... braced myself, rubbed my wallet and cha-ching!!! behold! my best friend aka my platinum card. mwahahahaha you will be mine, as i sneered sinisterly. but i just exploded in sheer fury when i saw the price: $1950++ s/s blah blah... WHAT THE F!!! how i wish i could turn the hands of time, and just say in my sweetest coo 'abuelita... may i have that?' then KAZAM!!! wish granted. you see, my abuelita (my lola) is simply my perpetual spoiler. a lot better than a genie, a hell of a cook, and whose coif could only be rivaled by imelda marcos herself.

i miss my childhood when everything seemed so simple. wherein i get teased for wearing brands my classmates have not heard of before... i had an early awareness with brands thanks to my abuelita. i miss her cooking. i miss her smell (she wears creed). i miss her company. i miss her... you see my perpetual fondness for Gucci rooted with her as she sashayed carrying these wonderful bags with her wherever we may go. i even mingle with her friends when they play mahjong and she even allows me to wear her big cocktail rings with i fondly call candies...

floods of tears are welling. i have to stop. now i know why i'd love to have this bag. it reminded me of her... better save up.


a new beginning

the female dog who dominates our little kingdom is now raising the inferno. am not in any mood to fuck anyone up now, am not in the mood to raise arms and call the legions of hell into war... but mind you, i will get even.

a new beginning is knocking on my door... will i open it? of course. anywhere but this shit hole

Friday, September 10, 2010

just sharing...



If You Forget Me
Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

pain in the pane

i just can't help but wonder why the hell did i choose this design for my blog... then it struck me, it struck me hard... it still reminds me of him.

as if there was this pane of glass, the same one which i had when i drove away the last time we saw each other to bid farewell... the same pane of glass in the middle of the rain which prevented him from seeing my tears when my heart got broken with our goodbyes for i know that no fond hellos would follow...

the same pane of glass which enclosed our memories, my poetry to him back when we were happy
the same pane of glass wherein we peered when we chose our rings
the same pane of glass where my blown kisses stuck to whenever i ride the bus for the weekends

how many memories can these panes of glass can hold?
how many dreams can be shattered with panes of glass?
how many panes of glass can be pieced together to bring fond memories???

how many panes of glass will it take to leave all these pain behind?

up and running

alive and kicking,
up and running
am i?

still in pain
wallowing in tears

up and running
i should be
up and running
i must be

up and running
up and running
i need myself
up and running



rather than
jumping off and dying...

after a long, long while

after a long, long while i am here again. yes, glad to be back yet still pained but have to move on. armed with my ever loyal friend i call magenta (yup, that's my laptop's name! how gay. hahaha) i will give birth to my words. words i can call my own.

rants, poetry, stories, experiences, nonchalant everyday journeys and everything else in between and under the sun. yes. this is it. i will try to piece in my life with my words... it would be a pleasure to have you on board this journey we call life!